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from the pages of
June 2004
Wedding Season
by Michael Ballon
June is the beginning of the traditional wedding season in the
Berkshires, as well as the rest of the country. While there is no reason why
people can't get married in January or March, the summer and early autumn
months seem to be the most popular time of year for wedding receptions. The
experience of having catered several hundred weddings has provided me with
some observations which might be beneficial to those planning a wedding.
It always helps to know right from the start who is going to be in
charge of wedding planning. Is the bride making her own
decisions, or is it in fact the mother of the bride who is really making the
decisions? Frequently it is a whole committee, of bride, mother of the bride,
as well as older sister, or possibly mother of the groom. Like any other
decision making process, decision by committee is always the slowest and
most complicated. After having met with countless couples planning weddings
it is indeed the rare occasion when the groom is actively involved. The old
wedding joke still holds true, that the groom need only say 4 words: "I do",
and "Yes Dear."
Like many other things in life, simpler is often better when it comes to
wedding receptions. A smaller number of really close friends and family may
well provide more meaning than inviting a crowd of people, some of whom may
be there more because you feel obligated to invite them, than because you
value their presence. While it is important to have a vision and conception
of how the day will flow, its also important not to try and over plan every
moment of the day. As I have reminded some couples, you might want to allow
for the possibility of spontaneity.
It may seem strange for a chef to say this, but the food is not the most
important thing at a wedding reception. Yes, it is important to serve tasty
food in a timely manner, but its not generally what people will remember
most about a wedding reception. Wherever you hold your reception, it's
important that your guests feel generally comfortable, and that you have
provided them with enough dining choices that most people will be happy.
Remember, you can't please everyone, so at least make sure you please
yourself. Don't be afraid to include old family favorites or traditional
ethnic foods in the menu. Whether its chopped liver, curry, or enchiladas,
your favorite comfort food will likely be comforting to your guests as well.
If you are planning an outdoor wedding and will be renting a tent,
remember the first rule about tents: There are no tents which are too big,
only tents which are too small. Considering the total budget for the day, it
doesn't make sense to scrimp on the tent size, creating cramped conditions
inside the tent, or guests leaning against the sides in the rain. As for
weather, Berkshire weather is notoriously fickle, but how much you enjoy
your wedding generally has a lot less to do with the weather, than a variety
of other factors. Some of the most joyous weddings I have catered have been
in torrential downpours.
In dealing with the DJ, photographer, florist, or caterer, never forget
that its your money, and you're the boss. Be clear about what you expect and
want of any of the people providing services. If you want formal pictures of
every combination of wedding party members, be sure to allow for sufficient
time to take pictures. Likewise, if formal pictures are not your style, be
sure to make that clear. It's everyone's job to try to make your wishes come
true.
It seems so obvious that it shouldn't need to be said, but try and
actually enjoy your own wedding. Too many couples treat their own wedding
like an Olympic event which they're going to be scored on, and they're just
hoping to execute a pre conceived form as well as can be done. While there
are certain conventions that are generally followed, and you don't want to
deliberately offend friends or family, at the same time, it is your day, and
its important to feel like you can indulge at least some of your own whims
and fantasies. When I am asked, "what are we supposed to do?", my reply is
to ask, "What do you want to do?"
By the time you've eaten the last of the cake and danced the last dance,
you will begin to appreciate the wisdom of honeymoons. After months of
planning and more time with family that usual, you'll be more than ready for
a quiet escape.
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