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from the pages of
April 2003
Eating Together
by Michael Ballon
The act of eating involves all sorts of decisions which involve a huge range of
inter-related choices and factors, including disposable income and finances, nutritional and health concerns, personal and cultural tastes, cuisine orientation and preference, as well as choices about food sources and the political ramifications about where and how we spend our food dollars. Just as important is with whom we eat.
For millennia, as we evolved from hunters and gatherers to farmers, eating was an inescapably social event, as cave dwellers and clans struggled to survive. Until just a generation or two ago, the vast majority of people in this country lived on small farms, where they not only produced some of the food they ate, but they ate those meals together. In a little more than a generation, this scenario has undergone a radical transformation
What is distressing and alienating about contemporary Fast Food culture, beside the nature and content of the "food," if it can be called that, is that so much of it is eaten alone, or in cars while driving, and that today increasing numbers spend less and less time actually cooking and preparing food, and eating it together. In a very short period vast numbers have gone from eating meals together grown on the farm, to picking up meals through drive through windows, and eating alone.
The experience of preparing a meal, setting a table, and eating together is becoming increasingly rare for much of the population. The increase in single parent families, the 24/7 nature of much of modern life which has families and children on complicated and different schedules, the increase in the number of hours spent at work, and the urbanization of the country have all contributed to this. For a shocking number of people in this country today, the family meal means eating frozen, microwaveable, or prepared junk food while huddled around a blaring TV.
The approach of the Passover and Easter season places this all in contrast. The context of the re-telling of the ancient story of Exodus is that of a large family meal, where we are reminded and actually commanded to recline, relax, drink wine, and enjoy a large meal together. The foods involved, whether gilfilte fish and matzoh balls, or leg of lamb or ham, require hours of extensive preparation, and remind us of ancient and family traditions. The smells of cooking food wafting throughout the house and stimulating appetites, and the elaborate setting of the table require time, and serve to bring us together. One need not be devout or pious to recognize that religious traditions, and the rituals of eating meals together establish bonds and reinforce connections sorely missing today.
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